Tasren: A friend is friend...real friend?

 A friend is friend....or is it?

So, you think you have a real friend - a friend who cares about you, who supports you through thick and thin do you?

 

“For now, i know i try to find the happiness from someone...i don't know who...but i have the feeling.....but i also have to accept that everyone i have met has been insincere and fake and for this reason i don't want to go...its a dilemma...to go or not to go....but i don't want to try...and knowing that i have you who is trying hard to help me go to the right path makes me feel happier and not lonely. I know that sometimes this is not the type of words that you wish to hear but i also know that in time i will be better and stronger and will not doubt you...i dont'   now...i promise you this and i know that our friendship and bond is stronger that we can overcome anything that come our way...i know this from experience and after loosing you for 6 yrs...i don't want to loose you again....i know the feeling and loneliness that i had to bear and i don't want to experience that again....rest assured i will be honest with you and sincere and hold you tight and not let you go.

Having  said this, sometimes one encounters problems while attaining on the path of enlightenment...there may be temptations  along the way....i believe i can pass it and i believe in yours and our strenght that we can pass it....not because of i scare or but i believe in you.”

 

Luckily in the past Nazir had Yiching ....the friend who would support him  and wish him only the best.  Unfortunately ...not now!!    Nazir now has  many "pretend" friends - someone who's only there when they need something ...and he realise this very well.

The moments in life when you discover who your true friends are, are more than likely going to be the times when something traumatic has happened - like when you've taken a risk to do something and reach out to your friends for support.

Nazir's True friend

True friends don’t come easy. It’s only when you come across with a problem, will you then know who your true friend(s) is/are. So treasure them cos if you lose them, it might be too late even if you realise how much they meant to you.

 

"I know 6 yrs pass and i know time is short...i cannot keep expecting you to hold my hand to lead the way...i want to walk now in the same direction as you...this is different from before....before i walk behind you and you have to pull me....i now want to walk beside you......we hold hand not because we scare but because of our love and good feeling.

......and i now realise dat you make me happy and dat holding you make me feel safe and conscious and happier..."

 

You have experienced a lot and you know very well who is/are your true friend (s)…..Nazir!

 

 

Tasren: PROMISE & SIN

The Twenty-First Greater Sin: Non fulfilment of a Promise

promise [N] คำสัญญา, See also: คำมั่นสัญญา, คำปฏิญาณ, Syn. assurance, avowal, agreement, warrant

The twenty-first of the Greater sins is ‘Breaking of a promise.’ There are authentic traditions to this effect from Abdul Azīm where he quotes that Imam Ja’far as-Sadiq (a.s.) has proved it to be a Greater sin with the help of the following verse of Holy Qur’an:

“And those who break the covenant of Allah after its confirmation and cut asunder that which Allah has ordered to be joined and make mischief in the land; (as for) those, upon them shall be curse and they shall have the evil (issue) of the abode.”

(Surah Ra’d 13:25)

The Holy Qur’an denounces the breaking of promise in the following ayat too:

“Yea, whoever fulfills his promise and guards (against evil) - then surely Allah loves those who guard (against evil).

(As for) those who take a small price for the covenant of Allah and their own oaths - surely they shall have no portion in the hereafter, and Allah will not speak to them, nor will He look upon them on the Day of Resurrection nor will He purify them, and they shall have a painful chastisement.”

(Surah Ali-‘Imrān 3:76-77)

 

Amir ul-Mu’minīn ‘Ali (a.s.) advises Malik al-Ashtar regarding the honouring of promises:

“Breaking a promise causes the anger of Allah.”

(Nahjul Balagha)

‘Ali (a.s.) also quotes the same verse after this.

Hazrat Imam Muhammad al-Baqir (a.s.) said:

“There are four types of sinners who are punished very soon:

a) The person who violates the pact that he has made with you, even though you have respected it.

b) One who inflicts harm upon you even though you caused him no harm.

c) One who has promised you something and you are faithful upon your agreement but he is unfaithful.

d) One who wants to severe relations even though the relative wishes to continue the relationship.”

(Khisāl)

Breaking of promise and hypocrisy

Breaking of a promise is a very serious sin. It is a sin that sows the seed of hypocrisy in the heart of the person who commits it. The person dies in a state of disbelief and is raised with the hypocrites on the Day of Judgment.

Hypocrites do not keep their words

It follows from this tradition, that a person who is unjust, a liar and one who does not keep his word, does not possess morals. He is not a just person (Ādil) but a transgressor (Fasiq) and it is not Wajib to fulfill the rights of brotherhood towards him.

Mutual covenants and agreements

The third type of promise is when people form actual covenants and agreements. The ayats and the traditions state that it is Wajib to fulfill this type of promise and it is Harām to go against them.

For example in Surah al-‘Isrā’:

“...and fulfill the promise; Surely (every) promise shall be questioned about.”

(Surah al-‘Isrā’, 17:34)

Similarly the Qur’an describes truthful and the pious people thus,

“...and those who fulfill their promise when they make a promise..”

(Surah al-Baqarah 2:177)

Also when describing those who shall be saved from Hell and earn Paradise, Allah (S.w.T.) says,

“And those who are keepers of their trusts and their covenant.”

(Surah Al-Mum’inūn, 23:8)

Imam Ja’far as-Sadiq (a.s.) says,

“To keep your word to your believing brother is Wajib like a vow, even though there is no expiation for going against it.”

The Holy Prophet (S) said:

“One who has belief in Allah and in last day (Qiyāma) must keep his word when he promises.”

(Usūl al-Kāfi)

Thus keeping a promise is a fulfillment for the belief in Allah (S.w.T.) and the Day of Qiyāma. Similarly, the beginning verses of Surah as-Saff have also denounced the breaking of promise and clearly prove that non-fulfillment of a promise (of every type) is Harām.

Tasren: Mara

To our friend... "NAZIR"

“Mara” means the Destroyer who destroys a person’s involvement in doing good.

There are three ways of doing good. These are by giving, by observing the precepts of ethical behavior, and by mental development, Of the three, the third is the best.

Whenever we do good, we always face Maras, or destroyers, of which there are five. They are...the Mara of the defilements the aggregates, the Mara of the of karmic formations , the Mara as a deity, and the Mara of death. Of the five, the Mara of death is the worst, because once you are death you have no chance to practice walking or sitting meditation.Therefore, your duty is to be aware of these Maras, and to prevent them from influencing you. Remember that ‘without conquering the Maras, the perfections can’t be cultivated’, so you must conquer them.

We are the owners of our own deeds, and will receive the consequences!

Nazir is the fickle person he always weak ..more than I can imagine and he was remiss ..he think he can conquer the Mara (evil).. I really feel sympathy on him..and have hope that one day he can pass...

Ref: Onkom S. ,Fruit of Karma, vol.1

Tasren: Stay away from the wicked

 

Wat Chalong Phuket (2 Aug 55)

Life is a vehicle. It moves when there is a destination to reach. Regarding the Thirty-Eight Blessing (มงคล 38), the 1st one is not to associate with the fools/ the wicked.

 

 

The wicked is immoral persons. If you associate with this kind of friends who have the wrong view, they will bring you to think, say and do the wrong things and will cause problems & suffering later. Therefore, please try to stay away from them and associate with the wise one (the good company/ the virtuous). Your life will be no problem, will be prosperous and peaceful.

Each person has his/her own life and has to manage life by himself/ herself. A knower knows that he/she has no rights to interfere in others’ lives, only can be an advice-giver. So long as the evil results of past behaviour still persist, the person who receives the fruit of unwholesome action cannot cultivate meritorious action that can eliminate grief and mistery from the mind.

For the love of Chabu

Unconditional love and acceptance

My best friend "Chabu"

My dogs are my family. They love me unconditionally ..no matter what...if I am having a bad day or good day. They are always there.…their love and actions are pure.

“Chabu" my beloved dog  was with me throughout his life. We had everyday together and he would come in the car with me whenever I left the house. I treated him like my own child. He and I were inseparable; we had an unspoken strong bond of love and understanding.

The warm feeling when I arrived home to find him waiting at the door and wagged his tail to welcome me. I could feel his love for me through his eyes. We did everything together, when I went to kitchen, garden, rest room etc. he would walk follow me.

So the degree of daily interaction I had with Chabu will influence the number of losses, and therefore the degree of grief.

On 28/Aug/2012  I woke up and found my beloved chabu died. He looked so peaceful. He died of a tumor in lung or cancer (vet guessed), aged 5. It was sudden... very unexpected. As I write this, I still feel sad and miss him so much. my heart aches for the loss of my very best friend.

I write this and post his photo in remembrance of him

Chabu…you will live inside ma-me forever. I never will forget you. I miss you so much and love you with all my heart. I will think about you and the good times we shared. Those memories will stay with me for the rest of my life.

 

chabu with his favorite doll

 

 

 my beloved chabu

 

The last night

  Chabu's grave with his doll

 

 

I'll hold you in my heart. I promise...”CHABU”

Love always, sleep and have a peaceful rest.

 

Friendship for all

by.**.John burk

 

 

 

Tasren: Raji..my real good friend

 

The picture which Raji gave  me the day we had coffee in my house before he went back to Nigeria

 

“Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never ever the same” (Unknown).

I am very fortunate that I have a real good friend. His name is Raji. We have been studying and did the research together in the same university for one year. While I was doing my Ph.D. in the second year ,Raji came to do his post- doctoral for 1 year. He was the lecturer in Nigeria. I knew very little about him from my supervisor before he came cos he will bring the crude oil contaminated soil from Nigeria to our research lab.

 

Franklinwilkin building the building we did research

 

In October 2002, Prof. Jeremy (my supervisor) came in the studying room with the guy who I felt surprised at the first sight.. “Hey Stranger,” was the first thing I said to myself. Prof. Jeremy let us  introduced each other and what I remembered very well was he gave me his hand and I felt uncomfortable in that moment to handshake..but I did . The next day I knew from Prof. Jeremy that we have to be the partner in molecular research.

Since I was better in molecular biology and he was better in microbiology, we always help and support each other if we got confused. We have to talk, consult, planning for the lab etc everyday. I observed and learnt Raji’s habit day by day. He always tries to learn from others. He is always helpful to others in their time of need and never feels them to be obliged

I never been abroad alone and leaded life among the people from different cultures. He helped me get through some of the difficult times I’ve ever gone through in my life. He encouraged and helped me from time to time. He has a very warm personality very polite, good mannered. I have never seen him losing his temper. His virtue of patience and compassion for all was indeed amazing. Furthermore, Honesty is his good manner he never lie and never promise the thing that he can not do.

The thing I have learnt and realized from Raji was “each and every person that comes into your life comes into your life for a special reason”.

After he finished his post-doctoral in  November 2002. We stay in touch. The last time I had got mail from him he told me  that he moved his family from Nigeria to UK for good.

Sometime I and Jnin (my husband) ..we got into talking about all of what’s written above. It’s a feeling I’m sincerely grateful for to be able to have good friend in life.

 

TASREN: The opportunity

From  “Yiching”  to “ Nazir”

 

 

 

Friends are friend forever together 'till the end.

For 6 years we went out separate ways.

 One day you wrote this to me…..

“…i would like to wish for...to have you back as my dear friend and to be able to talk to you as before and see you also...i hope that is one wish i can get..”

I let your wish come true and gave you the opportunity.

You promised me that you would always be my friend.

And will never lied again

You said you are happy that you have me ..

Someone u can talk to at times of bad and good...easy and difficult

Someone you can be sincere and honest and not have to tell the lie

 

One day (1 month later) something changed

I'm not sure what it was.

And for some reason, I don't know why, we couldn't make it right.

 

The First time when you told me you will change,
I tried to believe you. I did,
But soon you were back to the old you.
I realised you didn’t change,

 Forgive and Forget,that i have done.
I’ll do my part as a friend.
No matter who you are.

And you know who am I

But whatever it is,
I know I can’t say much.
I will accept whoever you are,
because you are who you are.

We went our separate ways.

This went on for days and days.

Humans are selfish.
Many tend to not try understanding others before doing something.
But one day when you find out,
                                      It’s too late.
 

With Yiching and Nazir friendship made me realized that each person we meet, be it a stranger or the best of friends, come into our lives for a certain reason and ours in theirs as well. Sometimes they come back into it, sometimes they don’t, sometimes they never leave.

But I feel sorry for Nazir That he haven’t realized ..he can’t find out the person like Yiching anymore..the really kindness and virtuous person.

 

I would like to tell them .."Live in the

present and make it so

beautiful that it will be worth

remembering."